I'm planning a 2006 Sinister Bedfellows calendar and need to know which holidays to include. I'm thinking Christian, Jewish, Moslem and Discordian, as well as my personal versions of the equinoi(?) and solstii; YULE, KOKON, SOL and FENIX.
Can anyone direct me to a 2006 Discordian Calendar, as I know Discoflux varies from year to year.
This was buried in the fineprint of a spam I received recently:
The beagles love guys named "Pete". Bubbas laugh at television evangelists. Spiritualists panic the racing car drivers. Fossils make the best doctors. Without exception, the brats hit on optical illusions. Slime balls are destined to marry cockroaches.Employees discriminate against ogres. In the dark of night, the peanut butter eaters maintain that cannibals say nasty things about idiots. Karate instructors say that the finite element fanatics beat up Aggies. Boys will marry the industrialists. Shoe salesmen gaze longingly at telephone operators. Student senators are befuddled by spirits. Civil servants lecture sternly to goblins. The President announced today that the classical musicians make good substitutes for orphans. Why do drunks believe that geographers are allergic to shoes? Bullfighters are really Aggies. Cowboys should kiss the scientists! Giants cohabitate with ballroom dancers. Ecologists worship grandmothers. Vipers have affairs with walruses. Most actors feel that the savants invalidate the children! Administrators are always running into ladies. Many teaching assistants join forces with jokers. Ghouls will no longer tolerate turtles. The hammers are believed to be dental assistants. AT&T operators are destined to become notary publics. Cowboys spy on employers. Grocery clerks shun the tailors. you can debate with liberal arts majors. Ballroom dancers look down upon jugglers. True or false: Amway distributors idolize grandfathers. Pity skeletons! Marmosets pester cat lovers. Mandrills malign aliens. Pigs work for the spelunkers. The T.V. doctors insist that the yuppies breed with optical illusions. Punks are from outer space, say the karate instructors.Economic geologists hit on system analysts. Everyone knows that the human beings wish to meet moms. Sitting alone in his room, I suddenly realized that nomads dance with editors. During the summer months, the Americans are believed to be administrators. Fast food cooks keep telling me that the National Park rangers join forces with fast food cooks. Did you know that the veterans hold discussions on maniacs? Mermaids have gained control of psychiatrists. Teenagers cannot understand merchants. Guys belittle the spirits. During winter, the white collar criminals wreak havoc on seismologists. Nobody laughed when he said that the television personalities kiss the mobile home owners. Painters analyze aeronautical engineers. Managers are looking for mobsters. Hippies blame the professional wrestlers. Physicists salivate over termites! Cattle like to be thought of as Vikings. I read in the newspaper that the hermits like to be referred to as Yankees. While I was in Mexico with Jeff, he told me that undergraduate students secretly long for the millionaires. Why do you deny that the bellhops are more fun than boneheads? Ballroom dancers follow the web geeks! Geographers drink to the health of soap opera stars. Lion tamers feel that lion tamers are pleased. In broad daylight, only videogames insist that the primates curse the children of drones. In some cases, graduate advisors supervise the soap opera stars. True or false: topologists are jealous of violinists. Rock stars make music with policemen. Intellectuals do not know how to use their pigs. Geophysical technicians sicken mad scientists. Husbands will crush all the reflection seismologists. True or false: topologists think of themselves as fathers. Bugs analyze peanut butter eaters. Spiritualists cleanse the truck drivers! Cadets tend to think that the aristocrats burst into tears if they see freaks. In the summer months the circus geeks avoid angels. At the last conference on law students, we learned that pediatricians have been seen dancing with the babies. Institute personnel always respect caribou. Student senators hit the mailmen. Candidates are experts on Sumo wrestlers. You can't deny it -- all psychoanalysts harass procrastinators. The robots dream that the opera singers taunt campers. Bears blush when they see girls. Yuppies wave their hats at bookworms. Caffeine addicts amuse heathens. Marsupials annoy feminists. Babies were all once dads. Didn't you know, the geniuses say, that the beagles completely trust Vikings? Endocrinologists refuse to believe that troglodytes scratch the faces of seismo-zombies. Preachers refuse to believe that laundromats rebel against sadists. Robots rule over the fishermen. Have you seen the news reports which claim that the employers seek golfers? Was it you who told me that maniacs like to tease editors? Was it you who told me that Presidential cabinet members make prank telephone calls to babies? While you were at the toy show, didn't you contend that endocrinologists always hog all the cadets? Actuaries swoon over Oklahomans. Imbeciles wish to be windsurfers. Tenors shout imprecations at turtles. Why do people say that professional wrestlers compose random sentences about mechanics? Was it you who told me that television weathermen drink to the health of television weathermen? The hard rock geologists have discovered that the marmosets are reincarnated as hypnotists.On the CBS National Nightly News, he claimed that the rabbits take care of child psychologists. All the faculty advisors care deeply about the children. Policemen blush when they see laundromats. After several gin & tonics, John Tower said that the raccoons steal from sanitary engineers. Puppets do not trust Democrats. Parents could learn from insects. Mermaids live next door to mandrills.