August 2nd, 2004


C∂úlhúvi∂a: chapter 3

I’m going to need to go back and update the first two chapters and these three will form the first section of the story. I still need to add a few details and change Gudrid to Hrod.

I want to strengthen the Narrator at the very beginnning and I want to reference Cthaat Aquadingen by Brian Lumley and Unaussprechliche Kulte by Freidrich Wilheim von Junzt. I think I’ll leave the Necronomicon out for now. It has a place in the final chapter.

Don’t worry, Cthulhu makes his appearance in the next section.

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It’s 5:30 am, I’m off to bed. Feedback, please.


Bee Prepared: Threats to the Election from McSweeneys.

2. The Threat: Bees

If there is a group that hates democracy more than terrorists, it has to be the bees. Bees live in a monarchy, where a female aristocrat dictates every aspect of each bee’s existence. If the bees try to attack on Election Day, be aware that bees are very likely to go for Democrats first, because Democrats smell sweetly of patchouli and sweaty, non-missionary-position sex, sometimes with people of the same gender, if you can believe such a thing. Democrats are always doing it in weird positions such as “Woman on Top,” “The Buffalo,” and “The Mad Max.” These activities not only create STDs; they also attract bees. Stay home, Democrats. Stay home and enjoy your “Choo-Choo Train,” or bees will attack and kill you. Bees!
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C∂úlhúvi∂a: off on a tangent

I was reading a few of the Lovecraft/Derleth stories and found some names that sent me madly googling. Now I have to rewrite the first three chapters before I can get into the fishing trip.

There was a tribe of Indians called Beothunk that lived in Newfoundland until the early 1800â™s. They painted themselves red, were very tall and avoided the Inuit and other Indians in the area. They were most likely the Skrælings of the Norse sagas. So I need to revise Chapter 1.

I also have several names to add now, like John Peyton, Magistrate of Twillingate, who captured the last known Beohunk in 1819 (real), Dr. Jean- François Charriere of Quebes and Elijah Entwood of the Journal of American Folklore (fictional).

âœReport has famed these Indians as being of gigantic stature, this is not the case, and must have originated from the bulkiness of their dress, and partly from misrepresentation. They are well formed and appear extremely healthy and athletic, and of the medium structure, probably from five feet eight to five feet nine inches, and with one exception, black hair. Their features are more prominent than any of the Indian tribes that I have seen, and from what could be discovered through a lacker of oil and red ochre (or red earth) with which they besmear themselves I was led to conclude them fairer than the generality of Indian complexion.â

Capt. Hercules Robinson, writing about the last living Beothunk, Mary March (Demasduit) from information obtained from the Rev. Mr. Leigh, says, âœShe was quite unlike an Esquimau in face and figure, tall and rather stout in body, limbs very small and delicate, particularly her arms. Her hands and feet were very small and beautifully formed, and of these she was very proud; her complexion a light copper colour, became nearly as fair as an Europeanâ™s after a course of washing, and absence from smoke, her hair black, which she delighted to comb and oil, her eyes larger and more intelligent than those of an Esquimau, her teeth small, white and regular, her cheek bones rather high but her countenance had a mild and pleasing expression. Her voice was remarkably sweet, low and musical.â

Look, a monkey-eating dragon!

Originally uploaded by mckenzee.